Feedback Friday: Why Parents Should NOT Pay for College

Are you a parent who struggles to give your child the best of everything, including a house that's not a home because you're losing sleep at night worrying about how you're going to keep it, vacations charged to credit cards that will take you the next 20 years to pay off, and a college education that you can't afford to pay for? If this is you, then I beg of thee to stop it...NOW.

I just watched CNN's Black in America: Almighty Debt, and I was greatly disturbed by the parents who were facing foreclosure, because they're 26 months behind on their mortgage, yet they're concerning themselves with how they're going to pay for their daughter's college tuition to Yale, Harvard or Princeton, while this young lady incurs $400 monthly cell phone bills. At first I was miffed at the daughter because of her misplaced values. But after some thought, I realized the WHOLE family's values are in the wrong place.

Where is it written that parents MUST pay for their child's higher learning? I told my children early (probably daycare) that they needed to get good grades so they could go to college.; I never led them to believe that Mama would be paying for anything. Now, don't get me wrong, I would have contributed in any way that I could, but as a single mother raising four children, establishing college funds for each of them on my salary was not realistic. Nor is it realistic for a couple sitting on the front steps of foreclosure to think they can pay for an Ivy League education.

The couple on Almighty Debt said that it's important for their daughter to be able to go to the college of her choice. Well, if her college of choice is Yale, Harvard or Princeton, then her grades should reflect such. And if not, then she's already made her choice to enroll at the community college around the corner, where she can get enough through financial aid, including work study, to pay her own tuition.

Feedback Friday Question: Should parents pay for their child(ren)'s college education?

Lisa Maria Carroll is a wealth strategist and along with Kim Crouch, is co-creator of the Millionaire Journey. To learn more about Millionaire Journey, go to http://1yearmillionaires.blogspot.com or join us on Facebook at http://tinyurl.com/yhdwa78

Are You The Biggest Obstacle To Your Success?

How much do we limit ourselves? I was thinking about this today as I spent time with my sons showing them how to prepare dinner. Normally, preparing Sunday dinner is a ritual in my house because it’s an opportunity to wind down from the hustle and bustle of our busy week, which includes school, work, sports and a host of extracurricular activities. It’s a time to laugh, share, having fun and just bond around Sunday dinner.

Now, on Sundays, I also give them a pop quiz on current events. It is nothing formal but more general conversations about what’s taking shape in our ever expanding global world. But today, I decided to quiz them on how to make macaroni and cheese. It was one of the items we had prepared for dinner.

Almost instantly, my older son began telling my younger son to quit copying off his paper. When asked why he was copying, my younger son said because no one said he couldn’t. After listening to my son, I realized he was technically right. I hadn’t said no copying, no cheating, not etc. According to him, he was following the rules as given to him, and it wasn’t his fault that we assumed that the word quiz implied no copying, sharing or discussing the answers with someone else. He hadn’t taken quiz to assume any of that especially since I hadn’t said it.

As a good friend of mine said when I informed her of this: “Your son is going to be a good businessman. In school, it’s called cheating. In the real world, it’s called don’t reinvent the wheel.”

And while funny, it was also a revelation of how we often place self imposed limitations on ourselves. How often do we imply things or limitations that don’t really exist? What my son reminded me of today is how easily it is too become so socialized that you sometimes forget the obvious or to think outside the box. He also showed me how we impose limitations on ourselves even in situations where they haven’t been imposed on us because we assume every situation is the same. After all, there are closed book quizzes and open book quizzes. My son’s point was why should he make things harder for himself if he doesn’t have too?

After listening to him, I was reminded of one of my favorite quotes: “someone else can hold you down temporarily. Only you can hold you down permanently.” Today, I ask how many of you are the biggest obstacle to your success and/or are holding yourself down permanently because you’re imposing limitations on yourself that don't exist?


Kim Crouch is a wealth strategist and along with Lisa Maria Carroll, is co-creator of the Millionaire Journey. To learn more about Millionaire Journey, go to http://1yearmillionaires.blogspot.com or join us on Facebook at http://tinyurl.com/yhdwa78.